Claire Loader – we said goodbye on a wednesday








did you still exist before i woke
before the need to pee
put you on a collision course
with gravity
before you danced with me in the shower
pooled then, in the grate

mum, why’s your pee pink
i don’t know, i don’t know

phillip and holly were on the tv
in the waiting room
had you slipped away already
drowning in the cheap pads
i bought in a hurry
at the petrol station

just a light bit of oil is all you need
this season, it’s all about the glow

i checked the time on my phone
like it was my passport, sweating more
my two-hour parking ticket in shantalla
was fast running out
not your heart
as it ceased to beat

this way please
just follow me

the doctor began to wheeze
as he peered inside the plastic grips
protocol slipping from his lips
you started as a clot
progressing then to tissue

let’s just see now
if we can move it for you

they left us on the bed alone
you, tucked inside the plastic strip
of the metal tongs that pulled you from me
knees up in the air

is this how I’ll remember you
the red streaks of a dream